for the record

i'd just like to say that i don't know where life goes sometimes. it's somewhat of a conundrum as i'm in it. i live what is life every moment that i breathe. i am alive. but where does this life go? where is it that i'm heading? i'm not so sure.

i had a sinking feeling when i was driving home tonight. i've had this feeling a few times in the past few days.

so what to do with that?

i guess we'll see, but what is my life has been such a disgusting mess of good, bad and i-don't-know-what-the-hell-to-think-about-this, that i'm just tired.

it's 2:44am and tired is a reasonable response.

so i'm going to sleep. i'm going to dream. i'm going to let my head and heart rest with hopes of a clearer state tomorrow.

i know it's been a while since i've posted here, and i'm sorry for the diary-esque-ness of this one but i just needed to get it out there. thanks. i love you. goodnight.