I have a hard time committing time to things that don't involve music, making money (because a boy's gotta eat) or being with the ones I love. But I had an epiphany today: I am a writer. I write music. I write poems. I write in my journal. I write all the time. But something I don't do is write as a discipline. I just write whenever it "comes to me".
Well, there have been large lulls in those creative times. Many large lulls. So in doing this blog again, I am forcing myself to pull the creativity out instead of hoping that it will come from some other source.
Do I believe in inspiration? Hell yes I do.
Do I think that inspiration only comes from without? I'm beginning to lean towards: no.
My soul is constantly at odds with itself and with the outside world.
I am a guy, and as I'm sure any guy can relate, there are plenty of times in a day that my head is completely void of thought. COMPLETELY. But equally as sure am I that the space in my head is probably more occupied than most mens' spaces.
So don't ever get the urge to call me a "spacey" person. It's false.
I have a lot of friends who you could most certainly consider "spacey" and I enjoy them very much. The lightness of their concern for mundane things is inspiring and pleasing. Sometimes I try to imitate it to avoid my own filled space.
But it's false.
My space is highly occupied, frequently vacated, but quickly filled by new tenants. And most of these tenants are relentless. They stay up 'til all hours of the night and cause quite the ruckus with the neighbors.
Tired of thinking about this analogy?
Me too.
I think too much. About a lot of shit. And it effects all of you. For good and for bad. Thanks for sticking through the bad and I hope you enjoy the good.
This blog is going to be a struggle for me to give some order to all the tenants in my space. (F you Tom for making those two words incite evil thoughts among my generation)
I can hardly wait. Bring it. P.S. Happy pathetically late birthday. I assumed I was a better friend than to simply write on your facebook wall... thus I waited for an opportune time that never came. Now my phone is dead. Thus, I'm posting a "congrats on the birthday," "apologies on the lateness of the greeting," and "I know I'm going to love your blog." We can be blog buddies. The end.
ReplyDeleteJames, I know what you mean by an empty head. I've been feeling that alot lately which is depressing because it makes me feel as if my best creative ideas have already come and gone and I did nothing to bring them to life.
ReplyDeleteSpark your life-hole. Suggestions:
1. Meet someone new who you would never meet through normal experiences i.e. go get coffee on South Lamar and talk to the weird guy who doesn't look cool but he doesn't care.
2. Drive to a small town nearby you've never been to and eat dinner at a diner. Talk to the waitress and ask her about the pictures on the wall.
3. Learn how to cook a new meal. Find a recipe, go buy the groceries, then invite a good girlfriend to help you get it done. Woman are amazing at that sort of thing; somehow they all know what "mincing" is.